Chez Saccharinary Cat's

ah well, a belated HAPPY NEW YEAR to everybody
i've had a very memorable X'mas this year which seemed forever
and i'm glad that it's finally over and i'm back to work

a brief recap: year 2006 has been pretty hectic, a lot of ups and downs
and this is the beauty of life i guess
we learn, we break down, we cry, and we stand back up on our own feet, w/ or w/o the others' help

i think i'll dedicate more of my time to my family as they're up most important
they are the ones who will never leave me and will never betray me
they are the ones whom i can trust

it's a new year, and i'll have a new start

it's nice to know that Kevin is getting married this coming Dec
12 months to go Kevin!!! i hope to come over to attend ur party if i've got the time and money!! :D

i'm not into the mood of exposing myself and my feelings yet
so allow me to stop here
i think it will take some time for me to re-open my heart

do u think it's right to ditch somebody only becoz you no longer have feelings for him?
would it be too shallow to consider LOVE being equivalent to FEELINGS?
feelings won't stick around for long, this is something that i've learned
and if u keep looking for the "right feelings", u'll never stop down coz whenever u get tired of one guy, another guy will just pop up in front of you
should we concentrate more on the RIGHT GUY?

so what it means by the RIGHT GUY
the guy who keeps u smile? or the guy who keeps u shed tears every now and then?
any normal friend could keep u happy, but only those who are closest to u willl make u shed tears

what if the guy loves u much more than u do in return?
would this make him the Mr. Right?
or is it true that not until u lost him that u realize how much you NEED him?

as time passes by, love has turned into pure care
and you just get so used to his existence
however when someone else pops up in your way
it brings storms to your world

i'm lost, really i am.

ooooh i have been bumping into SO MANY of my old friends lately
the first one is my little bro back in my high school
haha he's pretty much the same type of guy that i've known
though his face has changed quite a lot, looks SO MUCH older!!! (to my amazement)
a cantonese/english/german speaking guy who's learning russian!
oh my gosh, another language gifted boy.
wish u luck my friend! u have a bright future lying for you!

the 2nd one is my friend in my 1st year uni, whom i've lost contact with for almost 3 years...
met him one night when i rushed off class going back home
god, he's now a teacher assistant, and i almost fell off the ground
he really isn't the type of guy that one would think he could be capable of being a teacher in a secondary school, and teaching ENGLISH???? he's more like a sports teacher who would befriend his students, especially FEMALE ones...
the most unexpected thing is that one of our common friends is actually working in the same school with him
wow, what a small small world

the 3rd one is another high school friend whom i have hardly spoken with her since i left
she again looked so different
but since she was with her friend and was seemingly in a hurry
i didnt stop her, what a shame

well, so many meetings are coming up and i think i'm totally broke at this point after my 3 visits to my doctor...
wat a month!

this is so fun

1. Men are like ...Laxatives ..... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas ....... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ...... Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .....Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6.. Men are like .... Commercials ....... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like D epartment Stores ..... Their clothes are always ½ off.
8. Men are like .....Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .Popcorn ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ......... Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like P arking Spots Al l the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

my friend asked "how's your life going? your life seemed a little stale to me when i read ur journal. correct me if i'm wrong."
urgh, i don't know
i'm not sure where i'm going and if i'm doing the right thing here
and the night i was chatting w/ him, i was sort of depressed and was really pessimistic about my future

i was talking with my mom about my career and she said it's the right choice to take this job instead of the marketing one, which i was in fact NOT hired, and if i were, i would have become a girl like the young woman in the Devil Wears Prada for sure.
BUT if i got into that marketing post, i wouldn't have the chance (or heart indeed) to study further
so perhaps this is a better path for my future

muhaha, but i still miss that company
the 3rd time i was interviewed i thought i would have got that place
that was the one and only one job that i WANTED so madly
Pedder Group, you've missed a star that could have contributed much to your company ;)

i never like fluffy dolls
but i LOVE fluffy cats
let me show u one cute one, though some ppl on the streets may ask: may i know what is that you're holding?
haha it's my aunt's cat and it's adorable and playful






today my colleague and i went to shop at a lantern place and i bought one goldfish back to office

isn't it cute? ;)

ok, i guess i needa get back to work before it's too late.

this i saw yesterday at Festival Walk
actually it has been there for quite some time but yesterday i finally got the chance to take a closer look at the designs
i've picked 3 that i like

ah, Gucci, my all time favourite


This i like it coz' of its name - OSCAR ;)


This is actually a feline i guess?


though i had a 10 hr sleep, but this morn'g i felt so crappy that i wanna sleep till noon
but i got up at 10.30 finally and force myself to do sth before i start regretting letting go of a beautiful sunday

sometimes i really feel like time is slipping away very quickly
and that i'm not making use of my time in a good fashion
i feel like i'm wasting my time doing silly things - like working (??!!)
where did my interests go? where did my energy go?? y do i always feel so drained at the end of the day?
God, pls don't tell me that THIS is life...

yes, finally i've decided to change my layout as it has been too cool i admit
i like cats and i like pink too, so this would be it for the next year at least until they have better cattish designs.

it was only the first group work that we needed to turn in
and i think the group has started to dislike me only becoz i've contributed to our work...
duh, how ironic
i think my groupmates, actually 1 in particular, don't take suggestions/comments in a good way
and the work he has worked on, not to mention the number of grammatical mistakes i've noticed as i scanned through the 300-word short essay, the content itself has quite a few logical issues on itself...
wat was i supposed to do?
to ignore all those wrongs and just reply a THANK YOU?
or to ignore the email as if i haven't seen it so that that piece of shit will be handed in with my name on it?

ofcoz i couldn't stand all the errors and changed as little as i could within half hour right after i've entered my office
and at the end, i could feel the negative vibes throughout the 3-hour-class coming from that creator of our shitty assignment...
argh, god, i wish i could be with a group of ppl who have a higher english standard at least

and the -K- in my life, i miss the days i was working w/ the Fab-5 group
working w/ u gals really made my life so much easier
and i think i haven't worked with REAL Hongkongers for quite some time...
this is sth that i really need to learn otherwise i won't survive another year here
those were the days~

---

recently a guy was trying to date me out though we have never met
i'm not a bit excited about it coz i'm not quite fond of meeting ppl whom i've never met/seen
the only thing we've done is to talk over the phone

i told my BF about it and he has been pretty careful about it
he said: what? a guy who hasn't seen you??
sometimes when things like this happen you will see clearly how much your BF cares about u or how deep his love is
haha, i guess this is a trick that we gals to learn to let guys know that flirting w/ the others is not entitled ONLY to boys.

i don't know if it's me or it's other people's problem
why do i always catch ppl telling lies?
are ppl just too used to tell lies that they don't even notice that they're lying?

ok, let me define lie
ah-hem, it's only MY definition of a lie
when a person knows that he/she isn't telling the truth he/she knows, or he/she is NOT telling the truth he/she knows, he/she is lying
and the statement he/she said OR did not said is a lie

sometimes people don't tell lies
but they tell you something that misleads you into believe something that isn't factual
that is also a lie in my world

sometimes lies don't hurt, i totally understand
like most BFs and GFs always say 'i'll love you forever no matter what happens'
do they know what they're saying? i guess 98% of them don't
but when you've been completely devastated by a lie
and as a result couldn't get to trust anybody in the world
you'll get to hate those who lie, especially to you

hey, can those who are close to me stop telling lies?
coz i expect the most from you
despite the disappointments i've encountered
i still have hope that you'll somehow stop it

lies are lies, their sizes don't really matter.

have been ill for the past 4 days, and it's now the 5th day that i finally feel that i'm getting better
falling ill isn't as fun as i thought though i could take a day off... doing nothing but sleeping and sneezing
muhaha, sometimes when you fall ill you'll find out who cares the most about u
and even for those whom you thought aren't that close to you would show their care by sending u a msg
which is very sweet
there are always these passer-bys that makes our life much more beautiful

really need to catch up w/ some readings. ;) toodles.

Yeah, finally am taking a day off that i've sort of planned for a day... haha
but i hate it that almost everytime i take a sick-leave, ppl from office will call me...
like today, they called three times which i didn't pick up... and left one message
eventually when i called back, it was nothing coz prob was solved

i think i've caught a cold on Sun and since then, i have been feeling really tired
and yesterday, i've made up my mind that i should take my day off today so that i can take some rest and go visit my doctor [muhaha, an evil thought]

after sleeping for 10 hours straight, i feel much better
despite the rain, i went to the doctor
i wonder why the Observatory wouldn't hoist a black rain storm!

just a few pics to share with u guys:

a heart shape cloud



Central is BEAUTIFUL



Night view from Star Ferry Pier, TST at 6-ish

urgh i'm glad that i'm only taking 2 courses for this semester
and i'm also glad that i didn't take 2 law majors together or else there would be just TOO much

i don't know why everytime i meet someone new, they'll throw me the same question:
Were you brought up in somewhere else?
No, i'm not (period) is my cliched answer
and i'm a bit bored with these coz does it really matter where i'm from?

hey, we're always talking about the GLOBE now, there're no boundaries between countries anymore due to the globalization
urgh, except the line between the countries in the Middle East
where we're from is no longer important as long as we can behave internationally

the tutor i had last night looks totally guai-lo
y didn't anyone ask him "where are you from sir?"
he told us that he was bred here so I guess he's totally familiar with all of our Cantonese slangs
so i wonder what would he have said if he was asked the same way
maybe he would go like: my mother is American and my father is European, and I was born here in HK
but then does it make any difference afterall?
NO

i'm just so sick of ppl asking me this
coz i feel like they're trying to exclude me from their circle...
this explains why peers around me are usually the international bunch rather than the normal Hongkongers.

P.S. being left out of the circle ain't fun
P.P.S. Hongkongers are actually not that inclusive as they used to be i guess, or are they just getting more and more timid and shy?

oh yeah, i'm finally leaving this upsetting city
i really need to take my mind on vacation coz it has been pretty stressed lately...
ever since he's gone...

@_@ you're right that i really need a vacation
thanks for ur advice...

wow, i think i can finally have a good night's sleep
all mysteries resolved on their own just by a single phone call
muhaha, thanks Sherry and Eliza for all the support before I crack down in office...

my holiday mood is extremely severe as i haven't been working lately except for browsing the Internet and picking the courses I should be taking in the coming semester...
hush, my boss just passed by my room...

i wanna upload some pics now, but... haha
ah-hem, i'm actually at work... so maybe later.

God, i had the most terrible night last night
was awake throughout the whole night staring at my cell
a friend called in the middle of the night and i thought it was u, but ofcoz it wasn't...
got up at 5am in fear that sth bad might have happened to u
i couldn't help it but called ur bro
i expressed my worries and he said you should be fine coz he just saw u in the afternoon
though he too couldn't reach u
i immediately wanted him to leave a message at ur hotel
but i know it would be too much so i could only thank him and hang up

whatz going on with you?

god, kill me now coz i don't think i can stand tonight if i still don't hear anything from u
i can hardly breathe
i wanna leave this city to take myself away from all this shitte

i remember i wrote to u that "part of me is dead after u left"
and now i guess i need to correct this to "ALL of me is dead after u left"

i'm sry i'm sry i'm sry i'm sry i'm sry
i wanted to hide it from u so bad!
but i just felt too fucked up and couldn't control myself
like i had for the past 3 days
i really believe that Midnight will swallow my empty soul becoz everytime when it comes to me, i break down into a zillion pieces

it feels like half of me is not here with me ever since you're gone
maybe that half of me flew to budapest with u
i dont know what to do with the remaining days
i think i've shed enuf tears and my eyes are already swollen enough
it sucks feeling this weak
i feel so lost w/o u
do u know that?

i just hope that these days will pass more quickly
though the clock has not been that cooperative
i can't wait to leave this god damn city
and return only when you're here, free to hug me

i've never expected this could be so bad
coz i was actually happy for u when i heard that everything went so right on ur side
and all those places u visited
but i guess the positiveness in me just melts down as the days pass by

have been really breathless at work
i don't know since when i've become what i hate the most - a working ant...
darn it -K-, i still remember what you've reminded me when i first got into work
somehow i realize that unless i move to somewhere else, i will be a working ant...
I don't know since when my importance in office has increased so dramatically, which is drastically killing me because I'm taking up more and more new assignments...
boss, i don't want more money, i want more free time and my own spiritual space!

at least i'm doing something more meaningful as i'm studying part time
which makes my life more miserable in a way, yet i quite enjoy it
i like studying a lot
i said it makes my life miserable coz i'm ALWAYS in a hurry ever since my schooling has started...
ha, work + studying isn't as relaxing as I thought to be...
especially when there're so many materials to be read within such a short time...
my bed time reading becomes books like Constitutional Law or The Rule of Law
muhaha, say goodbye to chick-lits and HK Mag (I can't believe that I haven't read HK Mag for SO DAMN LONG!)

i'm glad that my 1 and only 1 essay assignment is due and i've proudly dropped in to the drop-in box after i've made last minute editions
except for that exam coming up in early Aug...
urgh, exam
people like me ain't good at exams
we're good at essays, given that i have time to prepare on it
i suck in exams, never score top 5
but it doesn't mean that i'm not familiar with the whole thing!
i think we should be judged more on the ground of our class participation, but not exam.
ah well, good luck to myself.

urgh, the weekend's GONE in a blink of an eye!!
didn't do much in particular
went to meet a friend of mine on Sat and had a buffet lunch
haha well but it's a good place to chat, the food was really so-so (i'm try'g to be nice)
despite the sudden-shower-cum-terribly-sunny weather
we walked from YauMaTei to Jordan
and the heat was killing me, and all the others i guess

wanted to watch Crash in the PM
but after queueing for about 15 mins, all seats were taken and only the first 2 rows got left
i gave up w/o hesitation coz i wasn't in the mood to watch a movie like that
i look forward to this movie for quite some time
but now that it's on, i don't seem to have the mood to watch it

had dinner at Spoon (yay, a funny name) w/ my parents and my god-father and his gorgious wife
i can't believe that i was wearing a pair of Converse that night
and was glad that i wasn't kicked out of the restaurant as i was absurdly under-dressed...
what was i thinking actually when i decided not to get changed at home?
the food was marvelous and it's much better than its grand opening's menu
French cuisine isn't that bad afterall
(i used to deteste French cuisine coz i like pasta but they usually don't have it, and i'm not a big fan of fish or steak or duck...)

yesterday i stayed at home for the whole day, almost
except when mom dragged me out of home to watch Re-Cycle starring Lee Sin-Jie, produced by Pang's Brothers
the movie itself is very Pang's-style, especially with the use of special blue-ish lighting effect
it's their signature
and the very dramatic sound effects... i covered my ears throughout the movie...
the concept is very good, and the ending of the story is very extraordinary
i think Pang's Brothers could be Christians? coz it's obvious from their movies that they're totally against abortion
i don't see this movie as a ghost-movie, rather it's more like a drama
coz it teaches us all that we should take care of what we dump
e.g. ideas, babies, or even relationships
if people don't think about it after watching, they may find it a piece of trash coz' they won't understand the meaning behind the whole story and why the story ended up with two Lee Sin-Jie (the leading actress)
it's a smart movie though i think the Pangs could be a bit more original...
coz many scenes look too Lord of the Ring to me...

urgh i wanna take a day off and lie down
i'm wondering if i still wanna dine out w/ my colleagues tonight...
i wish i could be a man and free of this monthly cycle...
shhhhhhitte, merde, putain, sheisse, @*(&$%(&#
this explains how i feel right now
a picture is worth a thousand words afterall

i receive a stunning email from a friend of mine
she quit her job at Goethe Institute, where she has been working there for over 10 years with a lucrative income, and go live in suburbs of Mainland China
she has actually told me that she wanted a 'new' life
perhaps people at her age are all struggling to find the meaning of life

when we're young, we fight for a lot of materialistic objects
& money is the fundamental matter of all objects
but as we grow older, we ponder whether money is all we want
and whether money can really make us happy
maybe this is what we call middle-age crisis? it reminds me of Lester, the leading role of the movie "American Beauty"

i'm happy for her coz she has found the goal of her life
to teach kids English in suburb-areas of the mainland
i'll miss her if she leaves coz i don't think she's gonna come back to this hectic city ever again
yes, hong kong is quite hectic in fact
but still i can cope with it
at least at this moment!
and i'm still in search of my destiny here in HK
which i don't have a clear idea yet...